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Maybe All Those Tired Parents Aren’t Really All THAT Tired

Disclosure: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Beautyrest for this campaign, but my opinions are my own.


If there is one thing that parents love to complain about, it’s how incomprehensible Pokemon is. And their children are obsessed! But if there’s one other thing parents love to complain about, it’s how tired they are. All. The. Time. When you have a baby who’s up 7 or 8 times a night to eat, poop or because he is trying to drive you to the brink of insanity, you just kind of have to push through it. You have to know way way WAY down deep inside that you will sleep again. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you will sleep again. Eventually.

But that doesn’t mean it’s over.

My kids are 8 and 5, so I’ve been out of the baby phase for a while now. And I am still tired. All. The. Time. Same goes for pretty much every parent I know. Our current level of exhaustion is one of our favorite topics of conversation (other than how little we understand about Pokemon or why it is so popular). Thank god for coffee, am I right!? Even the least religious among us repeat that prayer daily. I don’t know what I’d do without my morning, mid-morning, afternoon and post-school-pickup cups of joe.

I am a sleep-deprived wreck. I’m a parent. We are zombies; we are a love-giving, minivan-driving hoard of Mummy corpses and the Walking Dads.

I partnered with Beautyrest to help sort out my sleep-related issues. My other–deep seeded psychological–issues are not their problem. I was excited to finally show the world and, well, mostly show my wife that I barely slept (because I’m definitely more tired than her!). I was really hoping to learn how to sleep better. The hashtag for the campaign is #ISleepTo. Whatever sleep I get, I need! I sleep to get the kids ready for school, drive fast but not too fast to get them there on time, exercise (when I can), clean the house (when I must), run a few errands, walk the dog, cuddle with the dog, pick the kids up from school, help with homework, get dinner ready, convince them that they’ve eaten this exact meal 1,000 times before and, yes, they do like it, clean the dishes, help with bedtime if I’m needed (but hopefully not), spend some quality time with my wife (Netflix and chill!) and, oh thank the good lord, go to bed. Mostly I sleep to go back to sleep. Oh beautiful bed, how I missed you!

But as much as I love sleeping, I was pretty sure I was doing it wrong. I was tossing and turning, clearly not getting my much-needed deep sleep and REMs. I was not a shiny happy person!

Beautyrest sent me their easy to install Sleeptracker monitor. Seriously, the toughest part was lifting the mattress up. We have like a mega-pillow top and that sucker is pretty heavy. I put the sensors where the instructions said, synced it with my wifi, and boom it was done. For the first night, I got alerts about 18 hours later. Each night since, I check the as soon as I’ve had my first cup of coffee.

With the results were in, I’d show ’em. I’d show ’em all!

That I am a helluva sleeper!

WHAT!? Shocker. The twist you didn’t see coming. An M. Night Shyamalan-level surprise ending.

I found out that an average of 22% of my sleep has been deep sleep. And, apparently, “that’s great” and I should “keep doing what I’m doing.” According to my new Beautyrest Sleeptracker buddy, my “average sleep tracker efficiency has been higher than 99% of people like me.” I’m not sure who, exactly, the people like me are (parents who hate Pokemon, I assume), but I am totally kicking most of their butts! It may take me a little longer to get to sleep than my wife, but once I’m out I am out!

It’s weird, but knowing that I’m sleeping well has made me less tired during the day. Because the Sleeptracker app tells me, with facts, figures and statistics that I’m well-rested, I now know that I’m well-rested and I feel more well-rested. Unlike most of the parents out there, I have no reason to complain. I’m getting enough sleep, and the sleep that I’m getting is quality. Maybe a lot of the parents who think they’re tired are only tired because they think they should be, think they’re supposed to be. My exhaustion, for example, appears to have been largely psychological. I told you I had a few issues. I guess Beautyrest helped me with those, too!

Now if the Beautyrest Sleeptracker monitor could only help with my kids’ Pokemon obsession…well, a parent can dream. I know I do, in my long, highly efficient, totally butt-kicking nights of sleep.



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