No one has ever kept their New Year’s resolution. No one. Ever! By the time our hangovers are a distant memory, so are our goals of losing weight, saving money, and just being a gosh darned better person. My proof: the approximately millions of articles online with ways to “make your resolution stick.”
I thought I’d add one more to the pantheon.
Yeah, I was going to drop some knowledge…despite the fact that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. (This is the internet. Since when do you need to be an expert to give advice?) The truth is, I’m not sure if I’ve ever even made – let alone tried to keep – a New Year’s resolution. But I had an idea! And it seemed like a pretty good one, so why not share it with the world?
My brilliant keeping-your-New-Year’s-resolution idea was to cater the resolution to something you already wanted to do. (I found a loophole!) It would have to be a reach and out of the ordinary, but attainable and kind of exciting. I thought that in the process of achieving this goal, a person would get the benefits usually associated with a New Year’s resolution. For example, I want to run a marathon. If someone wanted to lose weight, they could resolve to run a race (of any length). The goal would be running the race, but in the process of training they’d lose weight. Bam! Resolution kept; benefits received.
Then I realized just how incredibly friggin’ dumb that idea is! I thought more about my marathon example. For a certain segment of society, of which I am a proud member, running (especially running races) is fun! But most people HATE running!!! A race wouldn’t be a good-time goal to work towards. It would be something to dread and training would be excruciating…and probably wouldn’t happen. Resolution forgotten. Upon further reflection, I couldn’t even figure out how to convert marathon training into a “real” New Year’s resolution for myself. I don’t need to lose weight. (I’d probably be better off sticking with a mix of running and weight training.) I suppose I could use the regimen to force me to better organize my time, but that’s kind of a stretch.
In short, my advice was going to be a huge load of crap. I’m sure those other advice articles are spot on and will help you keep your resolution, though. (Did that sound sarcastic? Yeah, they’re probably mostly crap, too. But they may have some good pointers.)
This is the thing: resolutions suck! They require we make changes and re-organize priorities. As the saying goes, “if it were easy, everyone would do it.” You wouldn’t have to make resolutions because the change would have already occurred. Unfortunately, transformations are tough and there is no shortcut.
This year, I resolve to make a few resolutions. I don’t know if they’ll stick. But I want to be a gosh darned better person! More specifically, I want to be a better father, husband, writer, and athlete. I have a lot of room for improvement in a lot of different areas. One resolution I can definitely (probably) keep: I will not give advice when I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.