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Donald Trump is a Moron Who Thinks There’s a War On Christmas

With all the serious crap going on in the world, it’s important to remember that Donald Trump is so dumb that he thinks there’s a War on Christmas. It’s just a neat little gift that it helps him shore up the unwavering support from unapologetically hypocritical Evangelicals. God bless Donald J. Trump, the man who truly believes! Heaven forbid he believe in the Christmas spirit of doing good for others or fostering unity. It’s good enough that he’s a soldier for God in the phony War on Christmas. And, like a Grinch whose heart has grown three sizes, he’s the only one who can save it.

The fact that Donnie boy believes in the War on Christmas should give pause to anyone with any presence of mind or even half a present in their stocking. After all, he’s also the man who believes that Obama is not an American citizen, Ted Cruz’s dad killed Kennedy, global warming is a Chinese hoax, it’s not his voice on the Access Hollywood tape, thousands of Muslims in Jersey City cheered on September 11th when the towers fell, Jared Kushner will solve the Middle East conflict, and that he knows “all the best words.” If it’s outlandish, in the National Enquirer or Tweeted by a neo-Nazi, President Trump is riding the crazy sleigh and carrying his followers in a overstuffed bag of B.S. behind him.

The Yuletide Warriors posit that people don’t talk about Christmas these days because we’ve gotten too “politically correct.” According to President Fruitcakeforbrains, there aren’t Christmas decorations in stores and no one says “Merry Christmas” anymore. Unlike him, they don’t have the stone ornaments to even say the word…Christmas! Because of liberals, I guess. Probably because of the Jews and almost definitely because of Muslims. I’m going to go out on a limb and say, also because of Hillary. I don’t know, maybe Bill was paid to give a speech about Hanukkah so her State Department declared the War on Christmas. Hannity will run the expose, I’m sure.

I don’t say this often and I may need to shower as soon as I write this, but Donald Trump is right. Yup, I feel dirty. He’s right when he says that most department store employees wish customers “Happy Holidays.” I’m trying to remember if they used to say “Merry Christmas” when I was a kid. I don’t know. Who cares?

Oh. Right. The idiots on Breitbart, Fox News and Donald J. Trump. “First they came for the plastic reindeer, but I said nothing. Because I was not a plastic reindeer.” I guess.

Trump has promised that he’s going to win the War on Christmas! Whatever the hell that means. I know he doesn’t understand what the president is supposed to do (other than watch TV, drink diet coke and Tweet), but he must be under the impression that the executive branch can make corporate policy. So much for small government. Funny how that doesn’t apply when religion (or, even a semi-religious greeting of well-wishes and joyous tidings) is involved.

When people say “happy holidays,” it’s because – duh! – not everyone in America is Christian. Not everyone is the same or celebrates the same holidays. This is a big diverse country and that’s what makes it great, you fake patriot asshole. Businesses understand that being welcoming to all faiths is good for their bottom line. Weren’t you some sort of businessman, Donnie? Maybe not a very good one.

Let me be clear, saying “Merry Christmas” is not offensive. To anyone. If you’re reading this and want to wish me “Merry Christmas,” go for it. If you say it to me, I’ll smile and respond, “yeah, you too!” Because there is no War on Christmas and I’ll assume you were just trying to be nice. You probably figured I celebrate the holiday that most of America celebrates and that’s okay. But being inclusive isn’t just okay, it’s better. If Christmas is about giving, then saying “happy holidays” is in the Christmas spirit because it gives equal respect to all religions.

So, ask yourself WWJD? He’d probably say “happy holidays” while giving assistance to the poor, not tax breaks to the wealthy. He wouldn’t give a national platform to alt-right assholes. He wouldn’t have thrown his support behind a pedophile. He wouldn’t abuse women or taunt people with derogatory nicknames. And he wouldn’t try to rile his followers up with some War on Christmas bullshit. He probably wouldn’t call Trump a moron, but I’d like to think the theme would be strongly implied in his sermons.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYBODY!!!!

 

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Published inPolitics Sex & Religion

19 Comments

  1. Amy Watterson Amy Watterson

    And you think Donald Trump is the moron take a look in the mirror

  2. admin admin

    Amy, I looked! I saw an average looking Jew of better than average intelligence who KNOWS Donald Trump is a moron…and a dangerous conman charlatan bullshit artist. Now what?

      • admin admin

        Nope. Just sarcastic as fuck. You from the Midwest? The South, maybe?

  3. Carl Carl

    With everything going on you actually have the balls to call out President Trump about the war on Christmas which is 100% true at the department store where I manage we are not allowed to say merry Christmas which is just plain stupid I told my boss it was stupid and I’ll say merry Christmas to whoever I want that day I was given a warning because I said merry Christmas to at least 10 people I told him he couldn’t do anything to me about it because I will absolutely sue his whole department stores because of my religion he never said anything to me again…so don’t say that there isn’t a war on Christmas because there absolutely is President Trump is doing a fantastic job as president and don’t need a loser like you always criticizing him for doing a fantastic job if you don’t like it move to some foreign country like the coward you are by talking behind someone’s back

    • admin admin

      Carl, I’m going to be very clear. Christians are not persecuted in this country. Giving other faiths respect does not diminish yours. With that, let me say Merry Christmas and Donald Trump is a conspiracy-believing idiot who has no fucking clue what he’s doing. Also, have a Happy New Year!

  4. Who cares. This post is stupid.
    How did you get my email I never
    signed up for this. Please remove me

  5. admin admin

    Dear “The Man,” I have no idea who the fuck you are. If you’re on an email list, you signed up for it. Please feel free to go fuck yourself.

    • Why don’t you go fuck yourself you
      No good for nothing piece of trash
      Quit signing up people who don’t want
      This slam page all you get is negative
      Comments no one cares about you why don’t you get out of your moms house and get a job

      • admin admin

        Who are you? Why are you here? Don’t like my shit? Go the fuck away. Bye Felicia.

        • Who the hell is Felicia?
          Amy is right you are slow
          Making up names and stealing email addresses but I forgive you because of your learning disabilities
          You don’t know any better

  6. Donald Trump is the kind of man that if your nice to him then he’s nice to you there was a post about him a few years back (but cnn definitely won’t tell this) where he and his wife were in a limo and they had gotten a flat tire and did not have a spare tire. there was a passing car who stopped and helped and the helper had no idea who was in the car after the helper went and got a tire (he insisted) he even put it on for him he found out who was in the back seat he shook his hand and asked how much for his help the helper just said can you send my wife some roses he asked their names and address 2 days later he received the roses with a letter saying you did a very nice thing for me so I decided to do a nice thing for you inside a envelope was a receipt showing he paid off their mortgage to there house That was very very generous of him.

  7. That was nice of him to do that mark
    I have a lot of respect for him now

  8. Awww. Bless his heart. That was nice of him

    • admin admin

      Ha! Bless his heart, indeed.

  9. I’ll definitely vote for him in 2020

    • admin admin

      You do you, KYbear76@gmail.com. For what it’s worth, I’m sure bears appreciate the KY jelly. Your email address shows that you’re a sensitive and giving lover. DJT could learn a thing or two from you, buddy.

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