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Barney the Tantric Dinosaur (Song Parody)

The dude who played Barney – that big, purple, super annoying, singing dinosaur – now runs a tantric sex business. Because life is weird, boys and girls. I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned from this story. There always was with Barney…though I haven’t quite figured out what this one is, yet. In the meantime, I reworked the Barney theme song to more accurately reflect what he’s up to these days.

Here are the lyrics, just in case you want to sing along:


Barney was a children’s show that had parents groaning.

That dreadful purple dinosaur

Gets paid for tantric boning.

Barney’s clients are big and small

Most of them are lonely

He can last for hours and hours

Ladies leave a sore yoni

Barney’s lingam is his thing

And it has magic powers

It’s his dong, his ding a ling

Prepare for milky showers


Barney cums and so will you

As long as you pay him

Barney is no two-pump chump

He uses tantra to delay him


Published inParenting & Humor

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